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[sheriffing]

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[sheriffing]

I feel like you're expecting me to tell you that I bat my eyelashes and men fall in love with me, or field mice do the dishes when I sing.

[priorly]

I'm not sure what help that might be in the troubles to come, but do they?

[sheriffing]

No.

I just have magic.

[priorly]

Oh, just magic. I see. And fluttering your eyes to make men fall in love with you wouldn't be that.

[sheriffing]

I think that might be more your super power than mine, Prior.

[priorly]

Oh my eyelashes are straight from the dollar store, no magic to that. Although it may explain that emergency I mentioned.

Do you use a wand?

[sheriffing]

I'd be afraid of the false ones they sell around here.

No, that's more of a fairy thing. Like the Blue fairy, or Tinker Bell before she lost her wings.

[priorly]

Hold on.

What did they do to Tinker Bell? It was that boy she hung around with, wasn't it. Men are beasts.

[sheriffing]

She lost her wings for disobeying Blue, and got them back after she took out Pan's shadow. Peter Pan was evil, now he's dead. Hook was a villain, and now he's from the future where he's happy to tell me he's put a ring on it.

Although dead meant more before the end of the world than it does here. Pan's in one of those pods now.

[priorly]

These stories are so much more complex than I remember. so you married the pirate?

[sheriffing]

Technically only one of us is married. His last memory of our world is our wedding day, but my memories don't go that far. I haven't caught up.

You should see the velvet tux he showed up in. I feel like you would've objected.

[priorly]

Velvet has its place, though midsummer isn't it.

How far do your memories go? Is the love he has something you've yet to fall in?

[sheriffing]

Don't challenge me, I'll show it to you.

I would've asked him out back home? But I've seen the memories that prove that a later me would basically (literally) drag him out of the Underworld when I lost him. That's kind of big, you know? I wasn't ready for big, I was ready for a movie and a snack.

[priorly]

I'd imagine he'd be useful for toasting marshmallows. And how are things now, despite your defaming his dress sense across the network?

[sheriffing]

He sleeps on my couch, bonds with my dog, and walks around practically naked because he forgets that I have no memory of living with him. We're a sitcom after the end of the world, it's ridiculous.

But I missed him, and I'm glad he's awake. Even if this is my life now.

What about you?

[priorly]

Me? Oh. Well, it's unlikely there would be anyone from my future turning up to tell me I married them. One less thing to worry about.

[sheriffing]

Alright, let's put it another way. If all hell breaks loose, who are you going to check in on here?

[priorly]

My ex, and my ex ex, in the pods. And my current, and my current's ex who's recently become my other current, here.

[sheriffing]

You'd check on your exes? You're a good person.

[priorly]

One of them happens to be my best friend.

And I'd check on you, I like you.

[sheriffing]

Then I'm sorry the two of you were separated.

I like you, too. I wouldn't let anything happen to you.

[priorly]

Me too. I could use her advice on the current-current's-ex-curre... oh I cant remember how I phrased it. The situation. My emotional emergency.

And you are a savior, if you did you'd hardly be living up to the name.

[sheriffing]

Oh, so the emotional emergency is a person.

I have to keep earning that title or they'll take it away.

[priorly]

Two people, but I'm afraid so.

We should get you a little pin with it on - make it harder.

[sheriffing]

What's the problem?

No more pins. I already have a "sorry about you getting kidnapped" pin.