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[sheriffing]

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[priorly]

And here I thought you were a princess.

[sheriffing]

Pretty sure that doesn't count, I wasn't waltzing before I could walk and I didn't grow up in a place with turrets.

[priorly]

Well honey neither was I, and I'm a queen. A savior, though - isn't that traditionally some sort of martyrdom affair?

[sheriffing]

If there's some kind of inevitable doom involved, I haven't gotten to that part of the story yet.

[priorly]

Personally I'd prefer any noble deaths be put on hold a while. And ignoble, too, as mine's more likely to be.

[sheriffing]

I'm not planning on any crazy heroics. I just have some useful abilities, you know?

I need to put them to good use.

[priorly]

All these breadcrumbs you're dropping and we still haven't found the gingerbread house.

[sheriffing]

Have I at least distracted you from your emotional emergency?

[priorly]

No. It was more of a princess problem, to be honest.

But I do want to know what abilities you have.

[sheriffing]

I feel like you're expecting me to tell you that I bat my eyelashes and men fall in love with me, or field mice do the dishes when I sing.

[priorly]

I'm not sure what help that might be in the troubles to come, but do they?

[sheriffing]

No.

I just have magic.

[priorly]

Oh, just magic. I see. And fluttering your eyes to make men fall in love with you wouldn't be that.

[sheriffing]

I think that might be more your super power than mine, Prior.

[priorly]

Oh my eyelashes are straight from the dollar store, no magic to that. Although it may explain that emergency I mentioned.

Do you use a wand?

[sheriffing]

I'd be afraid of the false ones they sell around here.

No, that's more of a fairy thing. Like the Blue fairy, or Tinker Bell before she lost her wings.

[priorly]

Hold on.

What did they do to Tinker Bell? It was that boy she hung around with, wasn't it. Men are beasts.

[sheriffing]

She lost her wings for disobeying Blue, and got them back after she took out Pan's shadow. Peter Pan was evil, now he's dead. Hook was a villain, and now he's from the future where he's happy to tell me he's put a ring on it.

Although dead meant more before the end of the world than it does here. Pan's in one of those pods now.

[priorly]

These stories are so much more complex than I remember. so you married the pirate?

[sheriffing]

Technically only one of us is married. His last memory of our world is our wedding day, but my memories don't go that far. I haven't caught up.

You should see the velvet tux he showed up in. I feel like you would've objected.

[priorly]

Velvet has its place, though midsummer isn't it.

How far do your memories go? Is the love he has something you've yet to fall in?

[sheriffing]

Don't challenge me, I'll show it to you.

I would've asked him out back home? But I've seen the memories that prove that a later me would basically (literally) drag him out of the Underworld when I lost him. That's kind of big, you know? I wasn't ready for big, I was ready for a movie and a snack.

[priorly]

I'd imagine he'd be useful for toasting marshmallows. And how are things now, despite your defaming his dress sense across the network?

[sheriffing]

He sleeps on my couch, bonds with my dog, and walks around practically naked because he forgets that I have no memory of living with him. We're a sitcom after the end of the world, it's ridiculous.

But I missed him, and I'm glad he's awake. Even if this is my life now.

What about you?

[priorly]

Me? Oh. Well, it's unlikely there would be anyone from my future turning up to tell me I married them. One less thing to worry about.